Hi, do this thing I sort of mention in the most obscure subject line ever but then also remember to WHAT oh and this and that and then ask someone for things to do with nothing. Thanks, bye! By the way, this is URGENT! That is NOT how you write an email, especially not if…
Snorting Snot
This is definitely a cultural thing in South Africa, but that does not make it okay. For reasons I will never comprehend there are thousands of people who believe it is socially acceptable, or even unnoticeable when they enthusiastically (and obnoxiously loudly) snort their own snot from the back of their throats and then sometimes…
Did we not just make eye contact?
Simple manners don't cost much. When we pass one another on the sidewalk, in the office or shopping centre, the least you can do is greet me back when I smile and say hello. Sure, if you're incurably shy you might think the ground beneath you will crack open and devour you if you had to…
That’s Racist
I am sick and tired of all those holier than thou peace preachers out there who just LOVE to find fun and kill it. Sure, I moan and groan about people and the stupid things they do; but I don't object to the fact that everyone has the right to say whatever the hell…
Life is Short
I can write an entire book on life mottos and how futile and ridiculously obvious some of them are, but there is one phrase that trumps the rest. The one I despise most of all is this: Life is short. Life can be described as many things; such as complicated, strange, funny, interesting, tragic, wonderful,…
Baby Pictures on Social Media
I don't like babies. I don't like children for that matter, but babies are especially gross. Don't even get me started on the newborn ones -they're just plain hideous. Absolutely all of them. I do NOT want to see your ugly baby's pictures plastered all over your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever other social media accounts you are…
Being Offended
This is a really big problem for someone like me. And by someone like me I mean someone who pisses people off on a daily basis, because I really just don't care about things like your feelings when I talk about any given subject. Just because I say whatever I want and speak my very…
Whispering
Contrary to popular belief, I can still hear you when you whisper. In fact, I probably wouldn't have heard you if you merely spoke in a softer tone of voice in stead of suddenly changing into a hoarse snake demon who spews spittle over it's poor victims' ears. You know, it IS possible to lower your voice without…
Prissy Non-Drinkers
When I am enjoying my fifth glass of cool white wine on a summer afternoon and I get the “you must be an alcoholic” glare and accompanying whispers to your other stick-up-the-butt non-drinking comrades, I imagine gulping down the remains of my half-ful glass, and propelling the glass from my hand straight at your prude, beady…
Sloth Feet
I am inclined to believe that 90% of my generation's parents were incompetent in teaching their children to walk properly. It is just the most baffling thing to me that so many people that pass me or walk behind or next to me in the street or in the shopping center, don't know how to…
What I Dislike About You 